we aren't life in a stoopid race, baby

This year my age is turning into 22th. Gak kerasa banget jalannya waktu dari umur 17 taun sampe sekarang. Time flies so fast. People change , everything was changed slowly. Satu persatu achievement berhasil diraih , satu persatu teman mulai berubah, tp perubahan ini pertanda kalo kami semua sudah dewasa. Ikut senang kalo denger cerita-cerita mereka and i was like "anjir waktu cepet amat ya, itu temen aku yg itu kyk masih kemarin main bareng , alay bareng, eh sekarang dia udah ini aja itu aja"
Pada awalnya emang sempet ngerasa kayak liat temen kerja pengen cepet kerja juga , liat temen bisa beli ini dan itu pake uang sendiri , liat temen udah mulai serius sama pasangannya , pada awalnya pressurenya kerasa banget. Terutama dari orangtua yg sering banget cerita tentang anak2 temen2nya. Tapi seiring jalannya waktu Alhamdulillah udah bisa mikir jernih and face it dengan kepala dingin.
I remember when I was senior high, I used to think that I need to prove my life somehow on a winning streak. Dari situ aku mulai ikut physics Olympiad club di sekolah dan setelah beberapa kali ikut kompetisi, sempat berada di 10 Besar Olimpiade fisika se jawa Bali tahun 2011 bersama Salah satu anggota timku. Kalo boleh jujur, semua itu kuperjuangkan hanya karena tidak ingin diremehkan oleh orang-orang di sekitarku pada waktu itu. Tapi , setelah beberapa pencapaian yang kudapatkan , semuanya tidak lantas membuatku berhenti dibanding-bandingkan. Then I got so tired and even more under pressure , aku merasa aku hanya Akan jadi orang yang naif jika tujuanku cuma approval dan notices dari orang lain. Aku merasa kasian sekali sama diri sendiri.
Dari pengalaman itu kali ini aku belajar untuk lebih cuek dan tutup telinga. Kayak happiness is from within kind of life gitu , hidup ini menyenangkan sekali , the approval that I need to get is only from myself. My life is better. Jgn coba bikin semuanya jadi bitter. Jadi sekarang aku berusaha bodo amat even my friends , my cousins or people around me got this got that, my 'rival' got internship in a long place abroad, I just give an attention but don't really care because they are not me. I'm a person of my own. I'm on my way. I'll make my own track And I'm out of this stupid race 🏁 . I know when my time is come , my time will come because actually comparison is truly the thief of our joy. Jadi...Buat apa balapan yakan ?

1st post in 2017

Hello blog, it's 2 weeks since my last post , now we stand in 2017 ! Woohooo . I wouldn't make any of same mistake and I'd like to move forward for the better this year. I'll building my capacity and competencies as much as I could.
Nothing impossible if I am willing to put extra effort into it. Bismillah..


Oiya , I'd colored my hair into ombre 1 week ago , I chose brown and red wine mix color. But my mother's didn't like it but idc bcs I'm wearing hijab in every daily activities out of my house 😉.


At this time actually I feel very sad and still don't know how to behave. I'd bickered with my bae , we had a 'cool' fight in this last week. That problem getting more serious bcs we can't do any quality time since holidays had comes ☹ . I hope we can solve that problems as soon as possible.


In this holiday I don't have any plans like others people usually have too , mostly i spent my time to assist my parent's commerce in my house while watching a Korean drama , or do something like washed clothes , cooking, or reading some newspapers to kill my bored feeling. Occasionally I went to library to borrowed some books 📚 and bought myself a spicy Taiwan streets snack in a mall. Alone. Ahahahaha so poor me. My friends sometimes invite me to do some trip but I can't followed them because i must assist my parent's commerce so I can't leave my house for a long time. Once again, poor me ahahahah 😅 .