The blame is on me

Since I was being a part of this major, I just want to focus on studying without any regret, without any drama, without any disturbance from-any-source such as people or anything that can make me unfocussed on my study (except Korean drama, obviously J) . i think I must using this limited time which is only 3 semesters with many plan and take any possible opportunities to develop my self. but after I met him, I felt like I’d fail to keep my self’s agreement. i felt that there is butterfly in my stomach, a thumping heartbeat when I met him, but I just could have to packaged that feeling in the name of friendship, because I realized that all of this feeling are totally wrong. I know it’s not a love, it’s just an admiration like..the feeling when you’re amazed to see someone’s manner, his ability to lead his team, his appearance, his mien when he treat you, his way to cheering you up, and his point of view when we were discuss about anything. It’s like a trap that I made by my self. the blame is on me..